Words of a wise Bishop

Hey!
This week I have been reminded of something my husband's bishop said as he was counseling us prior to our wedding. He is a psychologist and teaches on campus, so we had an excellent interview. What struck me the most about what he said was that no matter what, your relationship with your spouse is the most important. This was weird to me, because I had always believed that once kids come along they should be your main area of focus. And to a point that is true, kids take more time than I understand right now. However, the bishop went on to explain that people change, and if we neglect to maintain a close relationship with our spouse during child rearing years that one day, when the kids all have moved out, we will not know our spouse at all. And when you think about it in an eternal perspective, the one you want to be with throughout all eternity should be your spouse, because they are the only one who won't have moved out and started their own family. This tied in super well for me with the powerpoint of Avoiding the Baby Blues. I'm glad it reaffirmed the parental relationship during the time of raising children. I hope I can be strong enough to maintain that relationship and be the best wife and mom I can be.

Dating my husband

So this week I think the biggest thing I realized is how much I have been hanging out with my husband opposed to dating. I think it is an easy misunderstanding that once you are married you don't really have to date anymore, but the dangers of "hanging out" are still present. We spend a lot of time sitting at home, in our sweats, doing homework, eating food, and watching the Office. However, from our discussions in class this week I have realized that these activities, although unavoidable when living in the same place, should also be supplemented with real planned dates. So we spent our Friday night eating yummy sandwiches at Gator Jacks and equally yummy blizzards at DQ. It felt a lot nicer to do something planned together, and it took our minds off of school for a little while, allowing opportunities to further our relationship and learn more about each other. So with that, I say to you all, DATE! No matter what stage of life you are in. Alright, toodles!

This week in class we discussed same sex attraction, and for the first time in my life I think I have a theory I believe in about it. After researching the ideas we talked about in class, I turned my focus onto the role I have and will play in the lives of other who are struggling with their sexual orientation. According to the ideas presented in class, people begin to be stigmatized from a young age by their peers, especially if they display gender atypical traits. I am guilty of judging people just by their actions. We all know it is important to avoid judging a book by its cover, but I now realize that in a lot of cases it is crucial to avoid it. In class we talked about how a parent should react to a child with different interests. The greatest thing discussed in class was to love and support your child no matter what. This doesn't mean you have to encourage them to a lifestyle you don't agree with, it means we must let our children know it is okay to be who they are, and having different interests doesn't make them gay. Avoiding labels with them is also something I feel strongly about. I am glad to have learned these valuable things, and hope that I can be a strong parent and raise happy, healthy kids one day.

Hey Mister, you got change?

First off, I just took a nap and it was awesome.

Ok, so this week when we read that article about the families who had immigrated from Mexico, and all the changes their family had to make, I kind of thought about my own family, and the changes in the family structures I have encountered, particularly since I have moved out and gotten married. (Im really not that narciscistic, I promise)

My "family of origin" lives about 3 hours south of here, in good ol' Preston Idaho. I am the oldest of 5 kids, the youngest is now 4. The distance from them didn't allow much time spent getting to know my husband when we were dating. However, we spent a lot of time with his family, who lives in Rexburg. Because my mom was far away, we did a lot of wedding planning over the phone, as well as on our own. She took care of the food and I did the decorations. I really didn't know exactly what she was doing for food until the day of the reception. And she did great. For decorations I really wanted to fold 1000 origami cranes to hang from the ceiling (think twice if you ever consider doing it, because it is sooo much work!) For some reason though I went through with the plan and ordered 1000 sheets of blue, orange, and grey paper from the internet. The next 5 months I got to spend a lot of time with my husbands family folding cranes, and we grew really close. I spent more time at their house than my apartment. I missed my parents and siblings a lot and it was nice to have my in-laws to hang out with. Now whenever we visit my parents I feel like my role has changed in that family, simply because in not around them as much anymore. I also feel like my in-laws have had to change their family structure to let go of their son, as well as let me into their family. I didn't have too hard of a time transitioning into the newest family, the one with me and my husband, but it has definately been interesting. I am thankful for the information I get from this class, and that it lets me see my family structures in an clearer light so I can understand and make the most of them.